Why Not Earlier?

#latePost

So nagstorya mi sa akong manager recently and naai question nga though kadiyot lang sha natackle, dugay sha nawagtang sa akong mind. And hangtod karon napathink lang gihapon ko. “Why not earlier nga?”

I finally decided to go back to the Philippines for good by Feb 2017. Actually, i have two options in mind: OCt 2016 or Feb2017. I said, i-fix na nako nga Feb 2017 and then She said why not earlier? and I was like ganahan ko magPasko season sa diri sa Japan for the last time and then para makauli ko and makadala sa akong mga butang para lesser akong balikbayan boxes. That was my quick answer, but sa akong mind after nibalik ko sa akong desk was different.

My answer is this:

I am still doubtful and scared of my future sa Cebu. I am still scared nga inig balik nako sa Pinas mabalik akong mga heartaches about management, about myself etc. I don’t know how to face my disappointments. 3 years in lenovo, nakadevelop ko ug murag comfort zone sa kani nga lugar.  Am i ready to let go of that? And i really feel dili ko sellable to other Companies. I have this self-doubt.

Honestly, wala jud koi plan nga magresign. I told my Manager ana, and i was not lying ato nga time. I love my Company. I used to love my company. Everything changed atong Buwan ng Hinagpis (July,2015). But it taught me something. I gained something more than that coveted title(lol, murag Miss Universe lang). I learned nga dapat I should know how to set my priorities. I learned nga I should know how to  speak my mind. I learned to stand for myself. I learned to question things i don’t understand. But sadly, it also taught me to HATE and REBEL.

But what I’m trying to say is that Im open to all possibilities now. I need to focus on self-improvement, i think. And No expectations jud. Gora lang nga gora. And I realized, you don’t really degrade. You are a better person kahit paano. Maybe it’s a different direction of improvement that you thought or others thought it would be, but still, you are a better person. You just need to empower yourself. Believe.

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