Isa na guro ni sa pinaka-sad if not the saddest birthday ever sa akong tibook kinabuhi. Months ago, nagplan pa ko nga since Friday akong birthday, we can eat sushi tapos karaoke. But here we are, wala juy nabuhat.
Wala man lay nanuktok sa akong doors pag12. Wala man lang koi gift sa akong self. And worst of all, wala ko kagreet sa akong kaugalingon. I have this practice man gud, nga igreet nako akong self and reflect sa year nga naagi. Unsa ang mga changes sa akong life. Unsa akong mga kahiubos. Unsa akong mga nalearn. Pero this time, wala jud. Akong nathink ra jud kay unsaon pag-apply ang jougen sa fukushi if daily, monthly or by dispensing action. I hate how my day went. I hate what is currently happening sa akong kinabuhi. SSSSOOOOOONNN, i hope momake sense ni akong mga ginabuhat.
I am not the kind of person who rant gud. I do things than ranting. I dont do blaming pud. Wala man ni mabuhat. Walay mabuhat if moreklamo ko nganong gicode ni nga wala kasabot ang gacode.. Pero humana man. Wala nay lain mabuhat kundi ibugfix nalng jud.
Im getting old but why am im getting less happy. I should work out on how to make things better and enjoyable. This is not who i am. This is not what i am capable of doing. This does not define me. I am able. I am more than this.
Happy 29th Bday self. I hope you’ll find your purpose in life. I hope maokay na ang tanan.
I am no good leader. I have a very long road ahead of me to consider myself as one. But i sure know how to deal with people in a good way. I wonder why other people just find it hard nga makitao. It’s human nature. Girl, power doesn’t beget respect. Respect begets respect. Simple formula. This is not rocket science.
But i find it so evident nga people who are so full of themselves find it hard to gain respect from their coworkers. Full of themselves – means they think they are smarter than anyone else and that is why they question everything and makes fun of other’s mistakes. They feed their ego by doing so. Feel nila maayo na kaayo sila. Maybe they are. Pero sila pud ang usap usapan sa office. They say people who talk about people are the lowest. I say, people who talk about people are humans. Talking about people is not solely gossip. Gossip is spreading unconfirmed truth about other people. Describing people based on personal experience is different. lol. Because it has your personal confirmation. ganern.
This entry is solely because i have a friend who is working as an HR in a company. .And she said they are coducting trainings – one of which is good communication skills. You maybe technically good and so much more. We understand that. We can see that. But ang mga tao around you MAY not understand where you are coming from with your ideas and unsolicited comments, because you display it and converse it badly. Or OFFENSIVELY. That is not constructive criticism. That is putting someone down. You come as a all-knowing asshole in the office. Which i believe you are not. But you act as one. And you dont care, because you dont know. You are trying to change yourself but i hope it is not too late. Because people are people and people tends to not forget hurtful/offensive words and hurtful situations you put them into. And they will wish you bad luck. And that is not good.
Klaro man guro kaayo nga wala kaayo ko nakablog sa tuig 2018. Busy ang life. New ang environment. Boring ang Dating life. And most importantly kay blocked ang wordpress sa office. And i have a lot of things to learn pud. Grabe jud.
But many things revealed themselves to me that year. Like mga panghitabo nga wala nako giexpect nga mahitabo, like mabalik sa japan, mapromote sa work, mameet nag mga new people, ang paghawa sa mga friends you started to treasure. AND MANY MORE. Ang pagkainlove ang yet pagkawala ra pud sa feelings. Ang thinking nga mayntag siya na unta, pero marealize ra pud nga dili jud sha. Ang ang pagkaopen sa possibilities nga nahimugso jud ko aning kalibutana para mahimong jolly person nga single forever. It makes sense man, hinay hinay, pero it is making sense at the end of the day.
Kanang feeling pud nga magtihik tihik kaayo ka. Magstrict ka sa demand sa imong family. And at the same time, the other side of you is saying, ngano magtinihik man ka, family na nimo. Your parents. Spend more time with them. Pero ambot nalng. I need to recheck jud akong mga priorities oie. Its hard to balance what you give and what you store for your future.
Kanang feeling nga ngano lisod naman kaayo isigo ang sweldo oie. Sauna kay gorabelles ra man unta kaayo akong life. I want a simple life. Di jud ko ganahan ug complicated. BUT here I am. Gubot pa sa lukot ang list of items to buy and coming responsibilities.
Mao bitaw I am trying to learn to accept nga i am not perfect and dili nako makuha ang tanan nakong gusto. Sometimes we fail not only ourselves but also others. AND that is totally OKAY. Sometimes maquestion nato akong mga life decision and label ourselves stupid or selfish or unsa pa nang uban. Sometimes ang pinakaharsh nga person sa atong kaugalingon kay ang atong kaugalingon ra pud and i think we need to do something about that.
Mao nang, I will try to be a lesser bully to myself this coming year. Maybe i am okay as i am. Maybe im not as unlovable as i always think i am. Maybe God is preparing a better shot for me in the future.. Or maybe this is it na and i just need to personalize it. Maybe it’s time to grab the wheel in front of me and follow Gods voice – Lord paila pud tawn. 🙂
Goodbye 2018. A year with a lot of changes, daghan kahiubos and daghan kausaban. I officially welcome 2019 with a clean slate and hopefully to always become a better me, better than my best ever by the end of it.