Getting Old.

Isa na guro ni sa pinaka-sad if not the saddest birthday ever sa akong tibook kinabuhi. Months ago, nagplan pa ko nga since Friday akong birthday, we can eat sushi tapos karaoke. But here we are, wala juy nabuhat.

Wala man lay nanuktok sa akong doors pag12. Wala man lang koi gift sa akong self. And worst of all, wala ko kagreet sa akong kaugalingon. I have this practice man gud, nga igreet nako akong self and reflect sa year nga naagi. Unsa ang mga changes sa akong life. Unsa akong mga kahiubos. Unsa akong mga nalearn.  Pero this time, wala jud. Akong nathink ra jud kay unsaon pag-apply ang jougen sa fukushi if daily, monthly or by dispensing action. I hate how my day went. I hate what is currently happening sa akong kinabuhi. SSSSOOOOOONNN, i hope momake sense ni akong mga ginabuhat.

I am not the kind of person who rant gud. I do things than ranting. I dont do blaming pud. Wala man ni mabuhat. Walay mabuhat if moreklamo ko nganong gicode ni nga wala kasabot ang gacode.. Pero humana man. Wala nay lain mabuhat kundi ibugfix nalng jud.

Im getting old but why am im getting less happier. I should work out on how to make things better and enjoyable.  This is not who i am. This is not what i am capable of.

Happy 29th Bday self. I hope you’ll find your purpose in life. I hope maokay na ang tanan.

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What is good communication skills?

I am no good leader. I have a very long road ahead of me to consider myself as one. But i sure know how to deal with people in a good way. I wonder why other people just find it hard nga makitao. It’s human nature. Girl, power doesn’t beget respect. Respect begets respect. Simple formula. This is not rocket science.

But i find it so evident nga people who are so full of themselves find it hard to gain respect from their coworkers. Full of themselves – means they think they are smarter than anyone else and that is why they question everything and makes fun of other’s mistakes. They feed their ego by doing so. Feel nila maayo na kaayo sila. Maybe they are. Pero sila pud ang usap usapan sa office. They say people who talk about people are the lowest. I say, people who talk about people are humans. Talking about people is not solely gossip. Gossip is spreading unconfirmed truth about other people. Describing people based on personal experience is different. lol. Because it has your personal confirmation. ganern.

This entry is solely because i have a friend who is working as an HR in a company. .And she said they are coducting trainings – one of which is good communication skills. You maybe technically good and so much more. We understand that. We can see that. But ang mga tao around you MAY not understand where you are coming from with your ideas and unsolicited comments, because you display it and converse it badly. Or OFFENSIVELY. That is not constructive criticism. That is putting someone down. You come as a all-knowing asshole in the office. Which i believe you are not. But you act as one. And you dont care, because you dont know. You are trying to change yourself but i hope it is not too late. Because people are people and people tends to not forget hurtful/offensive words and hurtful situations you put them into. And they will wish you bad luck. And that is not good.

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A year that was! 2018 -> 2019

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Klaro man guro kaayo nga wala kaayo ko nakablog sa tuig 2018. Busy ang life. New ang environment. Boring ang Dating life. And most importantly kay blocked ang wordpress sa office. And i have a lot of things to learn pud. Grabe jud.

But many things revealed themselves to me that year. Like mga panghitabo nga wala nako giexpect nga mahitabo, like mabalik sa japan, mapromote sa work, mameet nag mga new people, ang paghawa sa mga friends you started to treasure. AND MANY MORE. Ang pagkainlove ang yet pagkawala ra pud sa feelings. Ang thinking nga mayntag siya na unta, pero marealize ra pud nga dili jud sha. Ang ang pagkaopen sa possibilities nga nahimugso jud ko aning kalibutana para mahimong jolly person nga single forever. It makes sense man, hinay hinay, pero it is making sense at the end of the day.

Kanang feeling pud nga magtihik tihik kaayo ka. Magstrict ka sa demand sa imong family. And at the same time, the other side of you is saying, ngano magtinihik man ka, family na nimo. Your parents. Spend more time with them. Pero ambot nalng. I need to recheck jud akong mga priorities oie. Its hard to balance what you give and what you store for your future.

Kanang feeling nga ngano lisod naman kaayo isigo ang sweldo oie. Sauna kay gorabelles ra man unta kaayo akong life. I want a simple life. Di jud ko ganahan ug complicated. BUT here I am. Gubot pa sa lukot ang list of items to buy and coming responsibilities.

Mao bitaw I am trying to learn to accept nga i am not perfect and dili nako makuha ang tanan nakong gusto. Sometimes we fail not only ourselves but also others. AND that is totally OKAY.  Sometimes maquestion nato akong mga life decision and label ourselves stupid or selfish or unsa pa nang uban. Sometimes ang pinakaharsh nga person sa atong kaugalingon kay ang atong kaugalingon ra pud and i think we need to do something about that.

Mao nang, I will try to be a lesser bully to myself this coming year. Maybe i am okay as i am. Maybe im not as unlovable as i always think i am. Maybe God is preparing a better shot for me in the future.. Or maybe this is it na and i just need to personalize it. Maybe it’s time to grab the wheel in front of me and follow Gods voice – Lord paila pud tawn.  🙂

Goodbye 2018. A year with a lot of changes, daghan kahiubos and daghan kausaban. I officially welcome 2019 with a  clean slate and hopefully to always become a better me, better than my best ever by the end of it.

TOTBILB : Dear NO

Dear Nico O*nopia,

Karemember ka atong Araling Panlipunan nga klase nato under Mrs. Rhea May Sadaya? Ikaw kay General Curriculum, Section 1. Ako kay Trade Curriculum Section A, sunod ra atong klase. Kabaw ba ka nga magdali dali ko ug lakaw gikan sa TLE nga klase para makaabot just in time manggawas mo. Kay ganahan ko makakita nimo and your very charming face and aura. I know wala ka kaila nako. Who am i man pud diba? Ikaw ra man jud guro akong crush pag HS. Murag wala naman koi laing maremember. Akong other crush man guro kay mga books ug photocopies sa mga CED (Current Event Digests). lol
Wala tika gi-love kay you just look too distant and too far sa reach. Plus the line of eager girls in you doorstep is not worth my time and effort. I remeember pa sauna, nga nagstudent teacher ko sa inyong klase, though ambot if kkaremember ka pero nakuyawan ko ato tungod sa imong presence ug tungod kay Lloyd Sasil kay not in good terms man mi ato nga time.
Naa pud time nga pilion jud nako imong name if magpacheck ang teacher then tarungon jud nako ug butang ang Checked by: My name with heart heart. Hahaha HS days ni, Nico ha, so dont judge me. Im just a simple student with a little kilig moments like this aside from getting climax if maperfect ang exam. lol. Naa pud toi lecture demo si Maam Sadaya sauna sa Deped man guro to tapos same ta sa mga napili nga magparticipate.. Giubo jud ko ato.. it was a disaster. Grabe jud akong pugong sa kakatol sa akong tutunlan kay wala koi panyo ato. It was a suffering. Plus,, naa pa jud ka. I needed to look graceful. Charot.
Naa pa gani koi picture nimo sa graduation. Gikan to ni Danica. Picture nimo nico nga ako jung gikeep. Napost pa jud to sa FB nya gitag ka ni Seva(?). Atay. Pero okay ra oie.. Dugay naman kaayo to. Nausab na gani kaayo imong nawng karon. Ana pud si Jade nga nausab daw imong nawng pero imong height wala daw. Mura na daw kag Jollibbee or kanang smiley sa Yahoo Messenger or circle nga emojii.. HAHAHA Sorry na Nico, pero i still feel kilig when i talk about you.
Kanang makita tika padulong sa gate nya paspas dayon molakaw para magkadungan. Ambot stupid kaayo sha ithink karon, pero automatic jud na sauna. Katong magtambay mo sa orange brutus nga tambayan nya mangagi dayon ming mga igat para lang makita mo. Mga little things nga nahimong makauulaw nga memories sa mga batang bigaon. Lol
So I hope you are dong fine Nico. I see nga ganahan kag mga cars nowadays. It fits you. Maygani kay wala pa ka nagchat sa mga random people para mamaligya ug cars. Wish you all the best. Goodbye.
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Super Powers

I am happy nga blessed ko with the superpower nga dali ra ka move on. Disclaimer: lahii diay nang move on ug sa magdumot. Example, nagmove on na ko nga dili na ta friends sa fb, pero ayaw expect nga ig kita nato kay motagad ko nimo. ganern. Moving on is accepting that things already happened, but dili meaning ana nga imo pud kalimtan ang mga kasakit, kahiubos ug uban pang kadramahan. Ayaw kalimti ang mga feelings, learn from them. Ayaw ug revenge, it will come naturally.
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Balay Burikatan. (First Time)

Weekend. Free time. Gabii sa kangitngit.
Nagtalk sa park. Chika chika – That was it.
A couple of drinks- the foreverr henessy berry.
And i think uban pang ilimnong nakapatipsy.

You’re young and ganahan diay ka moadto didto.
And i was stupid to said earlier nga i’ll go wherever you’ll go.
Wala koi experience sa balay sa mga burikat.
Worse kay hubog akong beauty, ambot nalang, giahak.

Hands all over the place and eyes nga murag FBI.
Nagalihok sa kangitngitan. Nagatotok, walay alibi.
Tulo ka kilometro na guro ang nalakaw sa sulod.
Apan ako sa double deck, didto naghagok.

Batia jud diay if wala ka sa imong kaugalingon.
Kay ana sila magenjoy ka, maamazed, ang mind maopen.
Apan ako wala gyud. Cg lang pangbalibad.
I was not prepared, basin pa nyag magkayamukat.

-babayng pak-an

 

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Microactions : Stay away from negativity

Naa sa akong mga micro-actions ang stay away from negativity and always try to smile.

Which i tried jud baya speciallly kanang staying away from negativity. Nakalearn gani ko on how to shut down people while they talk by pretending not hearing anything. Hahahaha. Also I have this one person who is so negative sa life. Breathing rants. Sorry sa akong exaggeration. Pero ana jud sha kay naa jud season sa iyang life nga full na kaayo sha about things nga dili nya macontrol pero ginatry nyag control which always make him berserk: about people. about work and workmates, about family. I still listen sa iyaha. I tried my best to calm him down. I know people needs someone to listen sa ilaha. Dili man necessarily motambag or motubag. Listening is enough… And I did that.

It took me so long nga marealize nga nega jud diay sha nga pagkataw. Pero I didnt shrug him off because… just because i consider him as one of my dearest friends. Naa sha atong naa ko sa top. Naa sha atong naa ko sa akong lowest. I dont know his sincerity but i felt his presence and that is enough. When no one else cared to chat me. When no one else bothered to ask how i feel, He was there. He was there to help.

There was a time i tried to stay low anang magcontact contact ug friends. And he was the only one (i think) nga unang nichat and ask kumusta na daw ko. I was like unsa imong tuyo? And he was like, wala lang nangumusta lang…

Isnt it nice kanang mga friends nimo nga magtalk mo kay wala lang.. dili tungod naai tuyo or naai favor. Pero basin pud bored lang sha or walay kastorya. i dont know sa iyang side. But i appreciate those times. Pero mao sad lagi, maabot dayon mig mga negative topics. And when people drags away happiness sa ilaha, it also drags away happiness sa people around them. And i felt that too.

Murag motaas na ni nga entry, no? and i dont want that, no?. So ako na ning putlon. Karon busy naman siya. And lately wala na pud mi naga chat. I thought pud nga nagachat lang sha if nega sha sa life. pero if happy sha and naa shay uyab or uyabuyab and all things go his way, wala ra pud baya sha nagaparamdam. Which is sabotable ra man.

Pero back to my micro-actions, stay away from negativity. So mao to, if magpalayo ko ug mga nega topics and nega people, less akong stress. Chos.

 

 

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when you try to smirk but fail so bad. hahaha