There is always this question jud inside me oie.. kaning maybe im not good enough. Giahak.

Dawat man pud nako nga naa juy mga tao nga mas maayo jud nimo: technically, emotionally etc. Never man pud ko nahimong competitive in those aspects. I just do what i gotta do. Which deliver what is expected.

Pero what happened if you cant. Or just barely lang imong madeliver nga munamuna pa jud. Should you cry in disappointment sa imong kaugalingon?

What is my aspirations in life? Saan ako banda may pagkukulang? What can make me happy in long terms? Ganern. Lol is this midlife crisis? Is this the time sa stages in life where you have to face what they call reality which will eventually change you? Or was i changed already?

How to cope up with questions in life? Specially at this time nga WFH most of the people. It gives us too much time to think of what the hell are we doing with our life. And how do you end your suffering? Or how to make it bearable. ganern.

Babayng Pak-an is Back : Pa-Fall

Nahadlok ko at first kay new role ni.
But i told myself, it’s okay. I’ll be ready.
Abi ba nako sa project ko maglisod.
Sa imo man diay. Ngano ko naibog?!

Nagrest naman ta akong heart karon,
Sa previous-es nga way label, mga puros igaton.
Or basin si heart, sakto na ang pagrest,
Ready na pud magpatest, sa karupokan at its best.

Friendly ka? or Bigaon ka?
Ganahan kag followers? or famewhore lang jud ka?
Pero one things for sure lang jud ba,
Nganong nahimong ultimate crush jud tika.

Is this close? I want closer!
The moment nga before sleep ikaw akong maremember.
In my deepest thoughts, ikaw nagacome over.
I thought nga basin ikaw na jud ang forever.

Giinvite tika, sugot pud ka…
Abi jud nako, “Lord mao na jud ni ba.”
Pero dili lang ko mag-assume Lord ha,
Abi palang easy to get ra kaayo ta.

Pero Lord!! ibog naman kaayo ko.
Siya wala lang diay: pagkagago!
Ang samgyupsal, ako nang gitae,
Pero iyang smile makahubo japog panti.

I wrote a song for him too.
Within me nagbabaga ang kalayo.
Within me ikaw ang gisangyaw.
Pero magpalibre ra diay. ikaw. lol

Friendly ka? or bigaon ka?
Or ako lang ang nagaimagine.
Ako lang ang nagathink of “might have been”,
Ang nagapray every night ng matimtim.

Is this close? OR you want closer?
Tabaghak ako ra diay ang gaoffer.
Friendly ra jud diayng amaw, or bayot buang
Pa-fall, nya nafall pud kaayo ko. Sayang.

-Babayng Pak-an


Follow thy guts.

Wala akong karapatan nga maginfluence ug mga tao nga stay sa company as much as i dont have the right to persuade them nga magresign. Im just neutral. Bisan ug by end of the year ba, wala na koi kauban lunch. HAHA It’s sad pero if it’s for the better sa imong mga friends then I will fully support their decision to follow their heart and their pockets’ calling :). The current company can’t level man gud jud sa mga dagko na kaayog offer sa ubang companies.

Personally , im still here because of the “bond game” and the people. If not, you know na. The one thing nga nakapastay nako baya last time i was so eligible for resignation, was the barkadatachi and the activities sa office. I really didnt mind the drastic compensation change. Pero karon as you grow older, nagkadako imong mga bayranan as you prepare sa imong pagkatigulang lol. dili naman madala ug smile oie. The fun and happiness dont pay the bills and amortizations. hahaha

So i deeply understand where these kids are getting their “want” to get into greener pastures. My only wish is that they dont talk dirty sa ilang  x-company. Mga inday ug dong, you never bite the hand that feeds you (or once fed you). Naa tai rights to talk bad, pero do you have to? Do you really need to broadcast this negativity inside you? Does this benefits you? Ganern. Remember that your past companies gave you the experience to be this “sellable” sa uban. It talks more about you as a person when you rant, not how bad your x-company was.

And i thank you.


@30 , you care less, love yourself more.

JuskoLord parang kelan lang besh nga bata pa ta, now im 30. giahak. Tanggapin ang inevitable. Laban lang.

Though it’s just an age, this year, i will try nga mature na ta ug pangutok. So hard man oie. Though im at this age na, I’m still the youngest sa family and i’ll always be the youngest and only boy. Lalaban tayo hanggang dulo.

3 decades of paningkamot sa life maamshie. Basin mao na ni ang time nga magchange career na jud ko. Still confused if would like to settle sa Cebu or magfarm sa dako pa doon for greener pasture. Well it all ends up man japon sa sa atong aspiration for happiness. Kung saan ka happy, let your decisions be toward that direction. Dont confuse financial abundance with happiness. Let that Filipino money culture die. If “daghan kag kwarta successful ka” bulsh*t.

Growing old means having new friends and letting go of old ones that just died without your notice. And surprisingly making new friends in unexpected places or media.

Though its been years naman since i started not to think too much about what people think about me. Still, im on the process of properly mastering that. Ang hirap kaya. Mao bitaw akong mga kaila ra jud ang akong ginaaccept sa instagram, and my personal FB is slowly dying. I “hello guys” less often and i sing my songs more privately. Ganern.

I would like also to stress out that im a social animal but i think i need to appreciate more the comfort and joy in solidarity. To treat myself better, and accept what is due. With age comes great responsibility nga dili na madalag smile and joke. Our spending habits are getting out of hand. How can i love myself more if broke ko. AW hahahaha okay lemme think about that in the next few days.

Salamat sa tanang ni greet! Love you all. Sa mga wala ni greet kay nakalimot or tungod wala man notif sa FB, oks ra. Di pud ko mogreet sa inyong bday. 🙂 LOL

Lovelots! Bleshu more!1074319_10201428389380138_1475644323_o

Seconds Thoughts.

Ngano kaha na no nga naa jud times nga ganahan kaayo ka mohawa sa usa ka situation and then when you get the chance nga muhawa na, you become hesitant. Why are we like this oi?  Ngano nagasecond thoughts man?

There was a time nga I hate myself for overthinking. Lisod ra jud gud. Dili jud ko risk taker. I always do calculated decisions. Bahalag nag magkinaunsa dapat dili jud ka mazero when dili sha mo go according to plan. Ana pa sila, it’s better to try daw than to regret in the end. Pero unsaon nimo pagkabalo if the regret is more painful than the consequence sa imong risky decision? HAHAHAHA

I say, stop the “what if ” thinking and start the “gipili ni nako, panindigan ni nako”. Walay reset button ang life maam. We work it out or we lose some. Acceptance is the key for a good life. And i thank you.



2020 New Year’s Resolution

Eto na naman tayo dai. Labanan ng mga pangarap nating gawin sa buhay.

  1. Magsave ka nang bongga kay nagpalabi kag gasto sa 2019.
  2. Wala pa nahuman imong oplan pahubason ang kaban ng mga damit. So limit na pud balik imong purchases ug mga sanina kay wala nai gamit gamit imong mga once beloved shirts. Nya nagasuot japon kag tshirt nga naa sa 5 years ago sa imong memories. BAket ka ganyan? Naa lagi kay sepanx issues.
  3. Paningkamoti na jud imong car parking skills. Bright ra kaayo ka para maglisod ug park.
  4. Continue ang minimalistic theme sa kwarto. If it doesnt spark joy, let go.
  5. Rekindle old friendships.
  6. Learn to swim nga tarong kanang dili lang ka murag baki josh ba. Kanang picture perfect pud ka tan-awn.
  7. Spend more time with Maxy. Travel far and wide. Upgrade Maxy.
  8. Continue ang pagkaadvocate nato sa environment no. Protect the turtles.
  9. Eat healthier (ilessen and junk foods, softdrinks and chicken lol). Exercise more.
  10. Mag-one step up sa pagiging serious sa life. Which includes, lesser time sa mga social media and dating apps (??? hahahahahaha)
  11. Learn this: Dont push yourself to other people. Connect when there’s connection. Leave when you feel taken for granted. Learn to dont care. Love and expect nothing in return but don’t make yourself so kawawa because you deserve better.
  12. Stick to -5, +10.
  13. Walang inumang aatrasan. Work Harder. Enjoy work.
  14. Take your calligraphy hobby one notch higher. (Meaning, learn a new font. lol)
  15. Storya more in Japanese kay murag hindi ka na kaintindi maayo da. Asta imong kansai ben kailangan na ug strengthening exercise.
  16. Drink more water.
  17. Learn a new sport.
  18. Learn a new hobby. (Pangita pud tawn josh, paningkamot pud)
  19. Early in sa work. Early out sa work. (Biggest hahaha, libre lang mangarap)
  20. Invest. (Finance-wise ha, dili emotions)
  21. Sleep Early (+5 hours sleep)

The Power of Saying No.

Paghawa ni Miura-san sa Company, iyang pinakalast nga words of wisdom is about the power of saying NO. Kay ang company daw kay cg lang daw ug ingon YES sa client and etc. Dapat daw nga dili nato malimtan, nga we have the right to say NO. Kay in the end, kita ra man japon mo take sa unsa man ang consequence sa atong tubag. So better jud nga we know our options.

So anong nangyari, it has been 5 years? or more? pero ano na teh? Cg japon tag say Yes ani? Hahahaha